My First

I recently moved back home to LA from NYC, and it's been much harder than I thought it would be.  I was on the East Coast for 2 years, starting in Boston.  It had been a dream of mine to live in Boston (without ever visiting one time before deciding it was a dream, or actually making the dream come true), so one day I decided something needed to change in my life and I told my boss I was leaving in 4 months and going to Boston.  I quit my job of 10 years, moved out of my apartment  by the beach, packed up my car and headed East.  For the weeks before I moved and in the midst of saying all of my goodbyes there seemed to be a common theme between parties.  That I should blog about my stay on the East Coast.  But, contrary to popular belief I don't do anything on the internet but check my email and see who decided to write their entire life happenings for the last hour as their status on Facebook.  My attention span doesn't go any further than that.  I didn't even understand what a blog was until 3 months ago.  And even when I did come to understand what a blog was, all I could think about is "Why would someone want to put what's going on in their brain on the internet for the world to see?".  And better yet, "Who cares?!?".  So.  Here I am.  Back home officially starting my blog.  I'm only deeming this appropriate because 2 years ago (upon arrival to Boston) I started writing a book about my life.  Sounds a little attention whore-ish, but seriously, the shit that happens to me does not happen to anyone else.  And it's nothing but a comedy, tragic in my eyes, but comedic genius to the general public.  However, since I have the most amazing form of self-diagnosed A.D.D. in the entire world...I've only written 2 chapters.  In 2 years.  Now cut to today.  Or last week shall I say.  I moved into my first apartment all by my lonesome.  I've never had my own place before.  No one to answer to, no one to tell me where something goes, no one to tip toe around if I bring someone home.  No one.  The Average Joe (or Jane in my case) would be stoked.    However, as I was unpacking all of my boxes that had just arrived from New York I had a mini anxiety attack.  I knew while I lived in New York that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life there.  Or the next month at that.  LA is my home.  I love the sunshine, the beach, my flip flops, zip up hoodies, palm trees, and Coffee Bean for God's sakes.  But as I was hanging up my scarves and winter coats I had accumulated during my time next to the Atlantic, I started to get sad.  I loved it out there.  I became ME out there.  I had my heart and soul ripped out and torn into shreds out there, realized that America really does run on Dunkin' (unless you live in Southern California, then you just run), watched people do the most absurd things to earn a dollar on moving subway cars on a daily basis, and even fell in love with Reggaeton (wtf??).  But I still loved it out there.  It's the prime example of "you never know what you have till it's gone".  I'm happy to be back home, I really am, it's just going to take some adjustment.  I'm a big girl now back with those I know and love, waking up to the smell of the ocean and the sunshine beating down on my face (which let me tell you, in NYC that DOES NOT happen. I don't care who you talk to.) but I still feel like a big piece of me is missing.  I'm never really satisfied, which is my own fault.  Once I start to feel like I'm too comfortable I start to freak out and have to make some sort of drastic change.  So being back home, and staying back home is going to be my personal challenge.  A tough one, but I think I can do it.  I have everything I ever dreamed of out here, just not the East Coast. 

I wrote my first short story about shit I was going through while living in New York and decided it was the BEST form of therapy I had ever discovered.  I don't tell people my feelings, I write them and keep them to myself.  Weird, I know, and very High School- but it's so much easier.  So since moving back home to LA I told myself that if I'm going to continue to grow like I did while I was away, I'm going to give up on the whole book idea because I will NEVER get it finished, and just indulge you all with the funny shit that goes on in my everyday life and or my brain via the world wide web.  So as I go on my journey this will be my way of being OK with the world and letting some steam out.   So you, the reader, can indulge and laugh hysterically or cry right a long with me.  Either way, it's an experiment for us all.

Now that I've popped my blogging cherry, I'll enjoy your feedback and laughter in the days to come :)  I'm already getting bored from sitting here so long.

Ciao!